The Left Honorable Sir Larry Fool, president-for-life of the Small-Nation Association For Urbanista (SNAFU), has recently spoken out on behalf of the vast majority of TLA employees who feel under threat from public demands of accountability, austerity and productivity.
'Let me be perfectly clear', Larry said. 'Employees are not elected, so youz ratepayers cannot vote us out.'
'And, speaking for the sector as a whole, the unique mixture of temperament, capability and ethic which we collectively exhibit, means that we just so totally justify our current remuneration.'
'Plus, our union will bite the generative bits off of any person, body, association, company or collective, which publicly expresses a contrary view.'
'Our main issue is that we just don't have enough moolah to pay ourselves even more.'
'So we are looking for ways to reach deeper into your undoubtedly capacious wallets.'
'Please assist us in this totally essential endeavour.'
'And, as well, we as the embodiment of all local authorities, fully intend to devolve to small local groups, the multitude of tasks and of course costs, that we cannot be arsed to bother with any more.'
'And in doing so, it should go without saying, we will retain and extend our present perquisites.'
'Over to you, our funders'.
'Turn out your pockets!'